Is it Selfish to be Kind?

Some people come across as being “kind” all the time but in reality, nobody is perfect. However, have you ever thought that being kind might really be a selfish act?  Feeling good after being helpful or giving to someone, in a weird way, is being “selfish” because it makes you feel good. Satisfying someone else’s needs can have a positive effect on yourself.


As I said no body’s perfect, we’re all human and get agitated at times and annoyed. Sometimes you get annoyed at those closest to you because you know they’ll understand but you feel a horrendous guilt after, or you might not be as nice as you wanted to someone you don’t know very well because you’re having a bad day. Even the nicest person in your eyes will have moments of frustration, it’s only natural. Some more than others! So, if someone is frustrated and takes it out on you, try to put yourself in their shoes and think of why they are like that and try not let it wind you up. They probably didn’t mean the things they’ve said. Its best to communicate and solve problems than to just get angry and say things you don’t mean. There’s a few ways to be a more relaxed person too.


Surrounding yourself with animals can be really soothing and having a purpose, other than yourself, can put things into perspective, e.g. taking care of an animal.  Animals are amazing and show so much affection. It instantly makes me feel happy seeing an animal so content with little things in life.  If you don’t have any pets, you can visit a petting farm or even watch a video of cute animals on YouTube will certainly make you feel better. To release any frustration, I like to go for a run; sometimes the hardest bit is to motivate yourself to set off to run but think of how you will feel afterwards.  It is guaranteed to put you in a much mellower mind set. Therapeutic cleaning…I know this sounds a strange one because no one enjoys cleaning but I’ve noticed, after a spring clean of my room or desk, it can leave me feeling organised and in control.  Mess makes me feel irritated especially when I can’t find something and I’m sure you can relate to this. Going for a drive is another great way to relax yourself. I don’t know what it is but the sound of the rumbling engine, looking out of the window of a car and zoning out is really calming. Don’t ya think? Sometimes it’s good to blast your loud crazy music or play your favourite chill list songs (we wrote a post on some great chill out music if you want some inspiration). Listening to music has been found to make you more mindful and being in that present moment stops your mind wandering and prevents worries that create stress.


The main point I want to reinforce here is referring to my first paragraph where I say being kind is something that helps us all. You feel a sense of achievement and closeness to another human and it’s in our instinct to be social mammals. Strategies to release frustration from your job, university work, stressful home life, such as exercise and being more mindful help, but if you find it pleasurable to make others happy even when you’re not feeling the best it’ll mean you’re a genuinely kind person.It almost comes naturally to be kind and isn’t forced.Also, it’s so uplifting.



I just want to say you’re doing your best and that’s all that matters, reaching out to others when you’re down and giving help. Others always notice small attempts to be kind which attracts you to the right people.


Let’s look after each other …Madeleine x


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