It is difficult to find a balance between sensibly planning for the future and just immersing your whole being into the present moment. Where do we draw the line between the two? I for one am still trying to uncover the answer. But I think the scary realisation is, we probably will never know.
I have struggled with anxiety since the age of around 10, before I even knew what anxiety really was. I worry about hurting those around me. The thought of it kills me. I worry about not being where I am ‘meant’ to be. I get down when I feel I haven’t achieved enough in my life yet. I worry if I am on the right path in life. I worry about my appearance. Am I presentable enough today? Will anyone think I am unattractive? What do people really think of me? I don’t want to burden people. I don’t want to feel alone.
It is difficult coping with these repetitive worrying cycles. However, when I feel like this, I remember to practise gratitude. I am a strong believer that being grateful is the key ingredient for happiness. I actively try to focus my attention on all the amazing things I have to be content about.
When I am walking down the country roads in my home town, I imagine what it would be like to be colour blind. Imagine if I couldn’t see the vibrant reds in the roses beginning to bloom. Imagine if I couldn’t see the deep blue sky giving a final curtain call as the pulsating orange and reds of the setting sun intertwine together beside the parting clouds. Imagine if I couldn’t see those colours of the sky reflecting into the lake, turning it into a beautifully hazy purple weaving through the ripples. I then feel awakened. I am so lucky I can experience what I am seeing. Do you realise how spoilt we are that we consider these moments as mundane?!
Picture accredited to Pouya Imenpour
I am so lucky to have both parents who think the world of me. I say thank you each day that I am privileged enough to be able to hug my mum and dad every morning and every night. I am truly fortunate my dad is still around even after battling cancer 3 times. I am in awe I still have a healthy father in my life to love me.
I am so fortunate I get to even see another day with a beating heart and a moving body when others sadly wont. The fact my body works effectively and I don’t need to do anything is crazy! I can live so effortlessly!
I watched a video of a man called ‘Eckhart Tolle’ and he said just place your attention on what you are doing in the moment. If you are washing your hands, wash your hands. Think of every detail while you do it and don’t let your mind wander. That is now what I do when I feel my mind spiral into a vortex of worrying thoughts.
Just remember, life is incredible when you take a moment to look around you.