Change is scary. Change is moving down a street when the street lights are off and your subtle view of the distance is skewed. You feel uncertain, unsure and unprepared for what is lurking around that corner. You ask yourself “Can I cope with this?” and you get that neighbouring voice in your mind persuading and urging you to remain in that comfort zone that you are oh so acquainted with. Don’t take that new job. Don’t tell her how you feel. Don’t move out of your parents’ home. Stay where you are. Be safe.
Is safe happy? Or is safe easy? Safe allows you to continue the familiar and doesn’t require much thought. You desperately yearn for the moment you have an over flowing feeling of contentment and a rush of desire for life and you can honestly say “I am happy”. We all crave that kind of emotion, yet we actively allow ourselves to get stuck in a routine. I’ve been guilty of this. Let’s be frank, I think we all have.
However, you can decide to go full steam ahead into the unknown or cowardly tip toe down and test the waters so when it all begins to feel too much, you can rapidly retreat back into routine. If you desperately struggle into stepping into new challenges, I definitely recommend reading Susan Jeffers “Feel the Fear and do it Anyway”. It is all about jumping into those situations that make you uncomfortable and overcoming that worry we have about it. That book honestly changed my life.
Mixing routine up is something I will continuously work on. I fret over uncertainty and change but I have to remind myself that it is sometimes necessary for my mental health. I have to accept new missions in my life with confidence and not to cower away in the confines of my cultivated habits. If I don’t accept the inevitable with a positive attitude, I am only projecting negative vibes into the universe. This negative energy will manifest in my brain, which only reinforces the anxiety I have for the upcoming situation. This then leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy where I become what I think. I’ve already set myself up to fail. Instead we need to feed the positive feelings we have for this new chapter. Continuously say the mantra “I can do this!” to nurture and grow the positive energy around you.
Prior experiences can really affect our susceptibility to change. If you try something and you fail and feel embarrassment, you never want to give it another go through the fear of that happening again. However, you are not the person you were 10 years ago, 5 years ago, hec…even 1 day ago! You are flourishing with each day! Don’t define yourself on your past ‘failures’ because you are much more than just that.
Understand you cannot control every frame of your life but also understand, that is what makes life so exciting. So, take that new job. Tell her how you feel. Get a place of your own. Move into a new direction. Be spontaneous.